When I was in college our teachers would always make us practice speeches and proper answers to interview questions. One specific question that struck me so hard is “how do you see yourself five years from now?”.
Inside I know that five years is not a timeline for me to get what I want, be where I want to be and be who I wanted to be. Whenever they ask me, my thoughts would often wander around and envision a woman wearing a pair of a high heeled shoe, sitting on a desk, wearing a respectful formal wear. By her posture, people would know that she’s someone.
Fast forward today, I am chilling at home writing, moreover waiting for a few days to pass so I can join my new company with a new designation. I have always worked with my own desk, with a decent position throughout my career that allows wearing any shoes that I deem fit but this time’s different. The woman that I have envisioned is finally happening-entirely.
I just turned 28 a few months back and actually, I was approximately 50,000 feet above. I never did blow a candle when the clock ticked at 12-pretty typical of me. Most of the time I try to absorb all the information of the new designation and try to comprehend the fact that I am 28 which seems to me as if I am too young for the position.
But then, I couldn’t help but be proud of myself. I have gone through a very tedious hiring process, a series of interviews, hours of assessment and I passed all of it, hence the reason I got the job. I know to myself that I can do it. I don’t want to limit myself just because I think I am too young or that people think that I am too young, I know deep inside that I can do it. I know the quality of my work and although other people who have years and years of experiences on their belt might do things differently than I would, I know that I will be able to deliver the end results the same way as these people will-or even better.
I am an overthinker, a hard worker, a career woman and I have to admit that being all these things means being too hard on myself. I tend to be a perfectionist wanting every detail to be delivered the best way it can be. But the pressure comes from the designation itself. The fear of not being able to deliver is gnawing in the back of my brain.
But then these are the moments in life that reminds us to focus on the positive side of things. With all these pressure and fear that I am feeling I need to also remind myself to acknowledge the fact that my dream came true because I have worked hard, I have studied so hard and done my best in every aspect as possible and that I deserve to give myself a tap for a job well done. I need to acknowledge that I am happy and grateful for this blessing and not let my fear overshadow this goodness.
I need to remind myself that fear is also a good sign and to not let fear control me instead use it to be a better version of myself. This is just a beginning, a new challenge and a new learning to embrace. The woman I have envisioned is finally happening and I am embracing every single emotion that I am feeling right now and turning them from negative into positive.